I have always been interested in names. Don't know why, really, but sometimes, I just sit down with pen in hand and start writing fictitious names on a piece of paper. I am most interested in First and Middle names.
My current favorites are: Wesley Wayne, Emily Anne and Frederick Alexander.
I also go through rituals of laughing or being disgusted at parents who give their children familiar names, but don't look them up first and end up spelling them in an abnormal fashion. One example of this is of a mother who always wanted to name her child "Mackenzie," however, the spelling on the birth certificated ended up with a spelling of "Mahkenzie."
My cousin, Vicki is yet another example of this problem, although, the spelling was not wrong. Her birth certificate spells her name "Vicki," however, when she was sent to school, the teachers told her that her name was spelled "Vickie" and that is the way she spelled it until last year, when trying to get her driver's licence under her new married name and her old driver's licence, marriage licence and birth certificate did not match. She had an awful time trying to prove to a new county clerk that she was who she said she was.
Finally, after (no age here.. we'll just say over forty years) several years, her name was officially reverted back to the original birth certificate spelling.
The last type of name is what I call, The "My God, what the hell were they thinking?" Name.
These are names like: Sparkle Cider, Sunshine Starr and Tiffany Lass (at least they dropped the "G").
This type also is included in a story from about 20 years ago about a mother who named her boy "Johnson Cotton" because it was the first thing she saw after giving birth to him. I wonder how many other men in this country are named for Johnson & Johnson Cotton, or worse, how many are named Cotton Swab or Cotton Ball? To tell you the truth, I've seen some names that look like they come directly from the eye chart!
And then, there are names that are just asking for trouble (As I sit here, thinking about the old Johnny Cash song "Boy Named Sue").
This story appears on MSNBC's website.
Wed., Dec. 17, 2008 — EASTON, Pa. - The father of 3-year-old Adolf Hitler Campbell, denied a birthday cake with the child's full name on it by one New Jersey supermarket, is asking for a little tolerance. Heath Campbell and his wife, Deborah, are upset not only with the decision made by the Greenwich ShopRite, but with an outpouring of angry Internet postings in response to a local newspaper article over the weekend on their flare-up over frosting.
"I think people need to take their heads out of the cloud they've been in and start focusing on the future and not on the past," Heath Campbell said Tuesday in an interview conducted in Easton, on the other side of the Delaware River from where the family lives in Hunterdon County, N.J.
The Campbells' other two children also have unusual names: JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell turns 2 in a few months and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell will be 1 in April.
Deborah Campbell, 25, said she phoned in her order last week to the ShopRite. When she told the bakery department she wanted her son's name spelled out, she was told to talk to a supervisor, who denied the request.
Karen Meleta, a spokeswoman for ShopRite, said the Campbells had similar requests denied at the same store the last two years and said Heath Campbell previously had asked for a swastika to be included in the decoration.
"We reserve the right not to print anything on the cake that we deem to be inappropriate," Meleta said. "We considered this inappropriate."
This concludes my rare, if long, Andy Rooney style opinion.
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